It's New Year's Resolution time again! And as we know, most of these resolutions fall by the wayside within a few months, if not sooner! A Resolution is nothing more than a promise we make to ourselves, and as such, we must conclude one of two things. We either promise things we really don't care that much about, or we are really lousy at keeping promises, at putting our money where our mouth is, at holding ourselves accountable, at doing what we say we'll do, at saying what we mean and meaning what we say!
This year, think hard about what you really want to create for yourself in the new year, create a plan that includes manageable and meaningful goals, and hold yourself accountable for keeping the promises you make. You will feel better about yourself, and you will be creating a life you can be proud to live!
Have a wonderful, joyful, intentionally created, and happy New Year!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Christmas Good Cheer!
Christmas...It brings up all kinds of memories and feelings, some good...and some not so pleasant. I have recently heard a great deal of talk from "experts" and regular folk alike about how to best "get through" the holidays. Wouldn't it be nice if we could do more than just "survive" the holidays, more than merely tolerate all the relatives who "infest" our lives and our homes at this time of year?
Some suggestions:
Think about whether you love these people. If you do, welcome them from a place of love, and treat them as you would treat someone you love, or the way you would like to be treated as a "loved one"!
If you don't love them enough to treat them with respect and compassion (regardless of the way they choose to behave), or if you have issues with them which will not allow you to treat them well, DON'T INVITE THEM! It is so much better to avoid unloving behavior and other mischief than to put yourself, and them, in harm's way. The message of Christmas is love, not superiority, judgment, and being "right" and making sure everyone knows you are right! And if you are invited somewhere and you cannot behave well with others who will be there, DON'T GO!
If you have relatives who consistently over-drink at the holidays, talk with them ahead of time about whether they are willing or able to drink less. Hold THEM responsible for their drinking decisions and behavior, do NOT...I repeat, do NOT... attempt to manage or control their drinking, unless you choose not to provide or allow any alcohol at your family gathering, which is certainly your call. If you provide and allow alcohol, and your relatives and/or friends state a willingness and ability to limit their alcohol consumption, hold them accountable for what they say. If they drink too much, they must leave. Follow through with your expectations and the consequences for non-compliance. Love is setting limits, saying what you mean and meaning what you say. We cannot have good, close relationships with others without it.
Remember why we celebrate Christmas. A man named Jesus was born so that we can love each other better, have better relationships, and do some good in the world. Let's remember that! Enjoy all that the holidays bring...family, friends, good times, gift giving, good food, downtime from work, warm feeling in the heart. Remember what happened to the Grinch, and let your heart grow three sizes this year! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Some suggestions:
Think about whether you love these people. If you do, welcome them from a place of love, and treat them as you would treat someone you love, or the way you would like to be treated as a "loved one"!
If you don't love them enough to treat them with respect and compassion (regardless of the way they choose to behave), or if you have issues with them which will not allow you to treat them well, DON'T INVITE THEM! It is so much better to avoid unloving behavior and other mischief than to put yourself, and them, in harm's way. The message of Christmas is love, not superiority, judgment, and being "right" and making sure everyone knows you are right! And if you are invited somewhere and you cannot behave well with others who will be there, DON'T GO!
If you have relatives who consistently over-drink at the holidays, talk with them ahead of time about whether they are willing or able to drink less. Hold THEM responsible for their drinking decisions and behavior, do NOT...I repeat, do NOT... attempt to manage or control their drinking, unless you choose not to provide or allow any alcohol at your family gathering, which is certainly your call. If you provide and allow alcohol, and your relatives and/or friends state a willingness and ability to limit their alcohol consumption, hold them accountable for what they say. If they drink too much, they must leave. Follow through with your expectations and the consequences for non-compliance. Love is setting limits, saying what you mean and meaning what you say. We cannot have good, close relationships with others without it.
Remember why we celebrate Christmas. A man named Jesus was born so that we can love each other better, have better relationships, and do some good in the world. Let's remember that! Enjoy all that the holidays bring...family, friends, good times, gift giving, good food, downtime from work, warm feeling in the heart. Remember what happened to the Grinch, and let your heart grow three sizes this year! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
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